Maximus

My brain is likely broken when it comes to romantic relationships

This is such a personal topic that it doesn't even feel right posting this. But it's my space, so I don't really care.

The problem is I have to work hard to get someone to like me, and most of the time I act like a shy pubescent boy. For some reason, I still drag things out with any potential love interest for weeks before I think about taking any action. I feel like I get overshadowed in every room, but I don't mean to be so negative. I had some positive encounters, only I was never too smart to either catch the hint or act on it in the moment.

It's also possible I wasn't fully interested, but I feel like most of the time I just missed the opportunity. There are two at the top of my head right now. I was working as a barista in Chicago area, and this woman I liked kept coming in for drinks and she was at times being all giggly and touchy with me. Naturally, I never expressed any interest out loud and then one day because of being dejected with work I made a face at her that I'm guessing she interpreted as completely disinterested, so she never showed up in person again.

The other encounter I'm not so sure about but I'm pretty sure when I was in NYC a pretty local came up to me on the subway asking where she'd find one of the trains going to Manhattan. I assume now she was making conversation, because she looked like a local, and because it was pretty obvious where the train was with all the screens and the loudspeaker. But at that time I just pointed at the train and left.

So basically I can't catch a hint and I can't make the first step and eventually I scare them away somehow.